Every day I would take a picture of myself holding a piece of paper on which says '平安SAFE' and then send it to my family group chat since the Christmas of 2022.
It all starts with a sad story. My friend's father passed away because of cancer on 21 December of 2022, I couldn't imagine what to do if it were my father. After I told my parents about it, I think maybe it's time to chat with them more often than before, to make some progresses to our relationship. Because my mom always blames me not sending messages to them actively, and usually she is the one who called me. But I really don't know what to talk with them even though we've been living with each other for 25 years.
Then I started to think that in China, we have this tradition if you go somewhere faraway from home, you should tell your families that you're alright, you're safe, you're fine…and it's called '报平安' (bào píng'ān) in Chinese. Google translates it as report safety. I was thinking what if I turn this action into a job that I have to do every day, just like people need to punch in before they start to work, could this help me to start a conversation with my parents?
In the meantime, as an Asian female living alone in the Europe, I have to prove to my parents that I am safe and it is safe to live here, because all the negative news about Europe that was shown on the TV, they kept reminding me to stay safe and be careful. I am always wondering if I were a man, would they still say the same to me? Is it every daughter’s duty to report their safety or even perform it in order to show it to their families?
So I decide to clock in with my parents every day in our family group chat by sending them a photo of me holding this SAFE paper for one year, committing myself to something really easy and simple, and repeat doing it for one year, as my futile resistance to my parents' concerns with my safety.
It is futile, because, on one hand, deep inside my heart I am still the rebellious daughter who knows what is actually good for herself. On the other hand, I have to respect and gratify my parents because I still need their support financially and emotionally. So I had to find a tactic, a subtle trick, the art of the weak that could allow me to balance myself between these two positions. And reclaim a tiny piece of my agency in our relationships.
Apart from taking photos which mostly were taken by myself, sometimes I asked friends for help; I also took screenshots of our chat as evidences. During the process, my phone crashed for several times, and I had to reset it, then I lost some chat histories with my family, so I need to ask my parents to take the screenshots and send them to me.
I appropriate the style of administrative forms and made my own version of safety reports that requires me to filled in the date of the report, the number of the report, the location and who did the report. I also signed my name on each of them to make them legally authentic. It's never too much when your safety is your parents' highest concern. And a good daughter should always report her safety. After I filled all the forms, I sorted them by month to make them easier to be examined.
Another resistance is presented through the video, the video starts with my mom's voice message asking me to be careful and stay safe, then I respond her with all the photos I took through the year accompanied by a monotonous sound piece that resembles war-drum, and with me keep saying or rapping 'I AM SAFE' in order to emphasise to her that I AM SAFE although in a provocative attitude.
I listed my friends' and my parents' names at the end of the video for their help and participation in this project.